Chao! (and ADVICE!)

I'm just not sure how to write this entry without being dramatic and sappy.


The last week was full of bittersweet "lasts."


I kept it together, mostly.  But with a few friends and with my host family I couldn't keep the tears back.  Whoever said it's better to have loved and lost... probably didn't write that immediately before or after losing.  Ha.  And even though we all know it's better than never to have loved at all (which I learn more with each period of my life), it still stinks.  It's a bazillion times harder leaving than it was to leave Yakima.  Because I knew I was going to be back.  But Chile... I don't know when I get to see those beautiful people again, and that's a major bummer.  Leaving was sad, really sad.  There's just no other way to say it.  But better to leave sad than happy to get out of there, I guess.


I got up early my last morning and went downstairs to just sit next to the fire by myself. Then I spent the remainder of the day eating.  My host family really does know how to eat.  One last slice of Marisol's bread, on last cazuela, one last pisco sour.  My host family gave me a Chilean cookbook, some chocolates, and a pretty wooden appetizer dish like the one we used every Sunday.  This was followed by lots of hugs and kisses and sweet words.  Then they took me one last time over my favorite bridge, past those crazy sea wolves and up to the bus station.  It was so different-seeming by now (and somehow so exactly the same-seeming) from that first rainy night when they picked me up.  The bus pulled out and I think I cried all the way to Temuco.


What a surreal year.  Like, really crazy.  It's sort of like a dream, but different. (that was profound, right?) Different because from the very beginning you know the exact hour you're going to wake up (10:00 a.m., July 20).  And different because these are real people you're talking to, and real choices you're making.  But sometimes it seems so far from the reality you've always known that it's hard to comprehend that it is, in fact, real.  That this is a real family you lived with, and those are real friends you made.  Real tests you took and real memories that keep popping up into your brain.

I learned a lot of things this year. That I can listen to Stan Getz for a whole year and never get sick of it.  And that I do get sick of Diana Krall's Christmas album, which we were still listening to when I left mid-July.  I learned the tango. (I also forgot it.)  And that you really should swallow some pills with a glass of water.  I learned how to hail a taxi.  How to count in French.  How to properly eat an artichoke.  And SO MANY OTHER THINGS.  I cannot believe how lucky I was to have this year.



THINGS I WILL MISS:
-people.
...also:
-laughing birds, and slobbering "sea wolves"
-simple "onces" of palta, pan y queso.
-baby mullets.
-nighttime walks in the fog
-berlines de manjar, trufas, and all the other delicious sweet things.
-great buses between cities
-setting the table
-cazuela
-Sunday afternoon table talk.
-rainboots, umbrellas, and RAIN.
-nights by the fireplace
-hot chocolate and special treatment from Café Moro
-not paying for gas



THINGS I WILL NOT MISS:
-Valdivian speed of walking
-laughing at jokes that I'm not sure if I get or not
-wet socks because I didn't wear my rainboots
-Telma's moods.
-not knowing if I'm supposed to cheek kiss you or just smile at you.
-that one TV music channel with harps and strings and synthesizers all over the place.


My Spanish has come so far.  I had a pretty solid base as far as verb conjugations and a handful of “useful vocabulary,”  but something happened  over the last few months that I didn’t even realize.  I just never noticed it happen.  Everyone says there will be a “click” moment where everything just sort of comes together.  (This did not happen.) But I somehow slid into that place where you think in Spanish, dream in Spanish, accidently try to speak Spanish to your English-speaking parents… without realizing it.  But it’s the truth.  It took me longer than most, maybe, but now I can be reading or listening to something for quite a while before I realize it’s not English.   I’ll be talking about something I read, and I can’t remember what language it was in.  This. Is. So. Cool.   There are still so many things that I can’t say the way that I would like to say them, and I’ve already decided I’m going to live in another Spanish-speaking country after school, but my ability to understand Spanish and think in it certainly happened while I was here.

I had a phenomenal year.  No way around it.  And so even though I am sad (<--understatement) to leave, I am SO grateful to have had the opportunity to have this year.  Now I just have more people and places I love, and that can't be too bad, right? And speaking of people and places I love, I will be home SO SOON! And I have to admit, I'm excited for that, too.  So, until my next adventure abroad...  a giant CHAO!




P.S. My own personal "Study Abroad Advice Column"


A few “consejos” for future study abroaders, while it’s fresh on my mind:

Start doing things, right from the beginning.  
Don’t think, “Oh, I’ll be here for months, I’ve got time to try that.”  Just get out and do new things, whether it be perusing stores downtown, exploring nearby hikes, or watching street musicians.  Don’t waste it, it flies!


Take pictures at the beginning!
Along the same lines, don’t wait to take pictures!  Pretty soon you might get so accustomed to things that you don’t remember what caught your attention at first.


Do things you’re not comfortable doing.
Go into that café by yourself.  Try buying those vegetables in the grocery store, even if you’re not sure where you weigh them.  Sign up for a dance class.  Take public transportation you’ve never used before.


Don’t limit yourself to English speakers.
I know it’s easy to hang out with the other kids from the states.  Do some things by yourself, though.  If you really want to learn the language, get away from English. (WARNING: this is hard because kids studying abroad tend to be SUPER COOL PEOPLE.  Be pointed about what you decide, though, based off of what is important to you.)


Don’t close yourself in your room. 
Now this would vary, I’m sure, from culture to culture and family to family, but I think that is valuable thing to think about: don’t lock yourself up in your room.  Even if you’re just using your laptop or reading or knitting… sit out where the people are!  Maybe take yourself to a new café every week.  Spend time around your family, and spend time in the city!  


Write about it!
Just between scraps of paper and my blog and e-mails I sent during this year, I've realized there are SO many little things I would have forgotten if I hadn't written them down.  So take the time to write about things, even if it's just for yourself, every now and then.  And even if it's just a bulleted list of things you did/saw/learned/thought were funny this week.  You will not regret it, I promise.

Ha! These are the people that accepted me so kindly as one of their own.

Smack dab in the middle of winter (note the glove) and I'm still picking daisies.

Some of the more animated host grandparents you'll ever meet.

Goodbye for now, charming Valdivian sidewalks.

I never tired of bringing my knitting to parties.

Dirt road reflections.

"Estamos mal en el liceo los 823."  A school on strike, a message imitating one from the famous 33 miners.

1 2 3 4, tell me that you love me more.  (I do, Foggy Gloom.  I do.)

Skits in conversation class. :-)

El chancho!  He sat at the table with me for many, many meals. 

I just do and don´t want to come home, that´s all.

"Your own Revlon red nails mesmerize you.  Their corresponding digits are busy transferring your chicken scratch to the computer screen.  You are numb and this is fascinating.  Yep, there they go.  You watch as they mindlessly carry your thoughts--no plagiarism here--from that weird, Chilean graph paper to this poor, over-worked machine.  And with the same cadence as always. Click-clickety, clickety, clickety-clack.  Pause.  Click-clickety, clickety, clickety-clack.  Hey, wait.  Fingers don´t even have minds. They just have bones and tendons and...  it's official.  You. Are. Tired."  --My Life, circa last night.

So, the newest is that the students are all on strike.  They would prefer free education, so... they've taken over the campus.  Like, it´s blocked off and they´re literally camping out in the buildings, no staff allowed.  I'm not exactly sure how this is supposed to fix things, exactly, but this whole situation is sort of convenient/sort of bad.  

I'll start with the good.  Classes are cancelled indefinitely.  Conveniently, this is finals week, which means I now have more of a chance to study.  In fact, I thought I had to turn in a giant research paper today but just found out that it´s now due Monday, thanks to the strike.  I am grateful.  And after staying up amidst piles of books and research articles, drinking instant coffee all the live long night, I will tell you one thing: reading research in English feels just like laying my head down on a big, comfy, coherent pillow.  Although, regurgitating it in Spanish at 4 in the morning feels kind of like... well, I think that first verb already explained it nicely.  Anyway, so now I have a little time left to finish that up.

But now, the bad news:  as long as the university is taken ("en toma" in Spanish) by the students, there will be no final exams.  No final exams = no final grades = no credit if I have to return to the good ol' US of A before the strike's over.  Sometimes these things last months, I've been told.  So... there´s that.  However, my non-Chilean classes march on as if nothing were going on, so I know at least a 1/3 of my classes will be good for something.

Admittedly, these last couple of weeks haven´t been the highlight of the semester.  This is partially due to living closed up with my homework and partly due to the weirdness that is my emotions.  I just do and don´t want to come home, that´s all.

For the remainder of my time I just keep on learning, though. Things I learned this week:

1) the precise at which moment it becomes wiser to close your umbrella than to risk losing it to the wind.
2) that in Chilean Spanish, the teachers "take" the tests.  I could never figure out why we said that the students "gave" them but now that I understand the give and take relationship, it´s all starting to make sense...
3) that my host dad likes floral prints; my host mom prefers solids
4) that fingernail polish remover doesn't bleach bedspreads, but it can make the whole house smell really bad.
5) that "betarragas" are beets, not rutabagas.
and finally,
6) how to make the clothes dryer work.

I can’t stand to think about leaving yet, much less write about it.  So back to the cave with me, but I just needed a homework break.  Ánimo... here comes the weekend!

On top of one of the buildings of campus.  Finally starting to look wintery.

...but not too wintery.

Out to eat with my favorite Chilean family.

A protest on the bridge (notice the bus doesn't seem bothered).

Just a tree.  On one of my routes home from school. 

I have spent countless hours talking to this beautiful lady.

The university, "taken" by students.  

The elementary school where I was teaching English!

Host dad = tennis fanatic.

On my last day the kids in the school wrote notes to me all over the board! (no one could spell my name.)

Oh boy.  How cute is that.

LLueve sobre la ciudad...

I guess everyone warned me about these last couple of months.  They did say they´d be ugly.  They said they´d be cold and gray and I think the word they used was "miserable."  They said it wouldn't be worth leaving the house.  Well, turns out everyone was wrong.  I´m not sure if it's my Pollyanna acting up or what, but I think it´s beautiful.  There are ferns and moss and raindrops hanging from bare branches.  Lots of drizzly walks home past puffing chimneys, with my trail of favorite stray dogs behind me.  Every day I still pass a few rhododendrons and the occasional hydrangea in full bloom, despite the fact that today is the equivalent of Yakima´s December 21th.  Not too shabby.  And today was actually super sunny for awhile.  (Sometimes you don´t realize you miss being blinded by sunlight bouncing off car windshields until it happens.) 

I imagine some of you have heard talk of that one volcano, Volcán Puyehue.  It's actually pretty close, but so far has just been a cloud in the distance.  Rumor has it the ash may reach us soon, but not before it travels the globe.  This is pretty funny to me since it's only a few hours away, and it´s reached Australia before us, but I guess it must be "downwind" or something.  In other news, there are still lots of strikes and protests.  For all sorts of things.  I don´t really know what is gained by this, but it does mean that classes get cancelled at the last minute a lot. Also, bomb threats are all the rage this semester.  Seriously, guys?  I've got a French class I want to go to.

So, I have this one class where everything goes wrong.  Just everything.  I really like it--it has to do with linguistics and language in general--but for some reason everything just goes wrong.  That was the class where I had the misunderstanding about the presentation date, etc.  The whole semester it has just been thing after thing.  When the professor sees me she literally and audibly sighs.  From the way she explains things to me I am 100% certain that she thinks I'm pretty dimwitted.  No matter how much effort I put into it, things just don´t work out.  This is frustrating to me and a little funny. Then, this morning I went to take a test and turns out it wasn't today.  When she saw me she just shook her head in amazement and told me in very carefully articulated Spanish that there was no class.  I nodded silently and left.  "Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name" ...and that you´re not really dumb.

Speaking of this, I have less than a month left. Which is mind-blowing.  And maybe it´s because I´m tired and a little on the grumpy side today, but I think maybe I am actually getting a little bit ready to go back home.  I just saw some pictures I´d taken driving through the Ellensburg canyon last year and was surprised to notice that it did a funny thing to my stomach.  And I am ready to see my family.  Ready to go camping with old friends.  So excited to dance, eat Reese´s peanut butter cups, play music, make real cookies all day long...  and then try to convert Yakima into Chile. 

Because I still hate the idea of leaving this place.  And I know I´m going to have fight hard to not be that girl.  We all know what girl I'm talking about.  The one that won´t shut up about "that one time" when she was in Chile.  The girl who casually slips Spanish words into conversations with her English-speaking friends and makes a point to find every Spanish speaker within a 20 mile radius.

And yet, my Spanish.  Yikes.  I´m so far from where I want it to be.  I really have learned a lot.  And lots of times I forget I´m listening to another language... when just I´m listening.   But then I try to create my own sentences and I remember in a hurry that I can't say quite what I want to.  Everyone talks about how "after living there for a month or two, you´ll be fluent"--well, either I have a very different concept of fluency or they are very fast learners. But it took more than an hour to win Zamora, so I'll just keep trucking. 

And then there´s the elementary school English class I help with.   Still as chaotic as ever.  This week at one point I had a broom fight going on, a casual soccer game, a group of kids pelting each other with beads from a necklace that had exploded (I think that's why the brooms came out initially) and two kids dutifully trying to learn the English ABCs.  We eventually got all these situations under control and joined the two studious ones. The lesson plan said we were supposed to study "hobbies." The examples in the book were a little outlandish.  Really, how many 10 year-olds do you know that have picked up rhythmic gymnastics as a "hobby"?  Anyway, hobby discussion and a few rounds of Hangman later and we had made it through the whole hour and a half with no casualties.  I tell you what, you've got to think on your feet in there or those cute little lions will getcha.

I still just tag along with my family everywhere they go.  Yesterday was Father's Day, which meant family events with both sides.  This whole family is just so FUNNY and incredibly warm.  Still laughing it up with Vale most nights here on the couch.  I also hang out at Luz´s house a lot doing homework and just talking.  Which is always good for a laugh because she lives with a mismatched group of 9 Chilean girls all studying at the university, who are all very different but very hilarious. I'm also starting to realize I´m really going to miss not living in the same town as some of my gringo friends, too.  Erin and Jahni, in particular.  What a strange year this is... I love it.

Well, like always I could keep writing for hours, but I will spare you. 

Luz's birthday (also featuring Claudia and Jahni)

Ash dusting from the eruption...

In English club Desmond and I are transformed into trees.  (This still makes me laugh out loud.)

Luz's scarf collection against her bedroom wall. :-)

Luz's birthday with her housemates!

Kids in my Inglés Abre Puertas class.

Aw! The ladies of the family.

History class field trip to a Valdivian museum.

A drizzly day spent walking.

La tía y la abuela.

Less than two months?!

And we´re at less than two months!  I cannot think of anything to say about this that is not cliché.

The lastest from Valdivia:  I survived the great quake of 2011 yesterday.  Luckily it was actually just a city-wide drill, because our class didn´t hear the siren and carried on as usual for about 10 minutes before joining our classmates in the rainy "safe place".  And the rain finally seems to have started up.  It´s beautiful and my umbrella and boots are getting some good use.  This is fortunately still novel to me.  Also, there has also been a lot of protesting here lately.  Mostly it´s been Patagonia Sin Represas (Patagonia Without Dams) stuff.  The general debate:  do we flood lots of land in the south to create a hydroelectric energy source for the country (/to sell to other countries)?  The frustrated response to this has included lots of marches, burning tires (which, ironically, does not seem all that environmentally friendly), breaking out windows and throwing rocks.  This has in turn resulted in that big truck thing with the giant water hose and sometimes tear gas.  The last couple of days I haven´t heard or seen anything new.

Still just waking up happy every day here.  Valentina (the youngest host sister) has been getting more and more hilarious with each passing day. I think that the reality is just that I can communicate with her better now.  Whatever the reason, I really like her. We have our own jokes and have spent many a rainy night studying together on the couch, next to the fire. (she gets a little high-strung about homework, too).  Telma the Grouch sits in between us, but always closer to Vale.  My host parents are just as excited (that would be Rodolfo) and grounded (Marisol) as ever, and celebrated their 36th anniversary this week.  Pao´s coming down from Santiago to visit this weekend, which I´m sure will be hilarious, as always. 

But enough about them, let´s talk about me [again].

I registed for my classes for fall quarter back in Washington! Spanish Phonetics,ˈhɪr ˈaɪ ˈkəm. Classes are moving right along here.  And English Club is really fun this semester. The little girls in particular have befriended me, and love to tell me stories about their grade school drama/ask me ridiculous questions, usually about Justin Bieber.  I got to play a friend´s (familiarly out of tune) piano yesterday... and then they fed me sopaipillas.  So nice to just sit in their kitchen watching Chilean gameshows and talking about things. This semester is busy.  I´ve been making friends with the librarians and also the waiters in my preferred studying cafes.  My free time is usually spent eating lúcuma ice cream (lúcuma = a fruit that tastes like CARAMEL) and watching Casablanca with amigos. Sometimes we go to cafes to play cards or to someone´s kitchen for culinary experiments.  I´m still a bit of a novelty in my Chilean classes here, and never pass up an opportunity to embarrass myself.

Today I decided that think I have changed a little.  Let me tell you a story.  Once upon a time, I had to do a group project in one my my classes.  Last week in class I understood the teacher to say that my group would be presenting today, Thursday.  But I talked to two other girls in the group (separately), and realized I had misunderstood (nothing new), and that we were going to present next week. Today when I came to class, the professor was waiting for us to present. She. Was. Mad. I sighed. I SIGHED. I was frustrated, but not stressed. She said we´ll present next week, and that we´ll "get a bad grade." I was bummed, but not stressed. This did not ruin my morning. I spent that unexpected half hour of non-class time taking pictures.  I don´t know if you´re understanding the significance of this.  Anyone who has been around me previously when deadlines or grades are on the line knows that this is not characteristic of me.  I still study too much but perhaps I´m slowly starting to get over my "freak-out-about-grades-and-also-about-things-out-of-my-control" illness, if you will.

However, on that note, I´m still going to go consider doing some homework.  

Erin's birthday with her family.

"Jac, está para tu cámara!" -la Vale  (soup bowls on the dinner table.)

The famous TRUFAS!  Granted, they're a little squashed.

I like these weird plants.

Party in French class...

Fish market after hours.

I love walking home into the sun. :-)

Rainy night at la Casona Verde...

Thelma and I are still working things out.

Kiwis for breakfast, cazuela for lunch, and cake for dinner.

Sometimes my life in this house feels like a scene out of a movie.  I come downstairs, walk into the empty kitchen and cut a kiwi in half.  I take it into the sala de estar, where natural light is coming through the window wall and making the bricks of the floor glow.  (Not bright sunlight, or even warm sunlight today.  Rainy light.)  Instrumental piano music is playing, and sounds like a soundtrack.   Spanish conversation is happening in the next room.  Telma the cat is actually approaching me for affection. How could all this possibly be real?  But I guess it is.

Today was a hallmark day.   Today was the day I learned to make cazuela.  Yes.  Cazuela.   Cazuela is probably my favorite Chilean meal.  It’s a soup, but it’s all portioned out neatly.  One chunk of corn on the cob (choclo) for everyone, one piece of chicken for everyone, etc.  It’s a very orderly soup.  None of this haphazard ladling.  There are also other delicious things like green beans and squash and potatoes hiding out in it.  And today I learned to make it!  Lunch was delicious, if I do say so myself.

Chilean dinner, or once, is a funny thing,  First of all, I don’t think we’ve ever eaten it at once (eleven).  Uusally it’s between 7 and 9:30.  My very favorite once is probably hallulla (my favorite dense bread) with cheese and avocado. I could probably just eat it every night.  Oftentimes we’ll have toast and leftovers from lunch.  Sometimes scrambled eggs and hot dogs.  In some houses it is the same every night.  Hallulla, with your choice of cheese, meat, or manjar for toppings. But in our house it changes a lot.  Most nights my host mom asks what we would like.  This is so strange for me.  If someone is going to prepare a dinner for me, I will happily eat whatever they would like to prepare. Tonight  was a strange once.  My Chilean dad and I share an affinity for sweet things, and so he brought home a cake filled with manjar and whipped cream for dinner, ha.  So that is exactly what I ate.  I am fully a part of dinner conversations now, almost always knowing what we’re talking about and able to articulate my opinion.  We often listen to the news, which sparks all sorts of interesting conversation.

No smooth transition here, but I just want to talk about how Luz has become one of my dearest friends.  This has sort of changed my view on things.  I know her opinions and problems and hard things and funny things and she knows mine.  The fact that this is possible even though the majority of our interaction is in Spanish is still sort of surreal to me.  I am so grateful for the fantastic people I have met here.

Speaking of Luz, she very graciously lets me study at her pensión.  This is fun because there are all sorts of Chilean girls just sort of thrown together by chance in one house.  Studying (and sometimes more like “studying”) there is 100% enjoyable.  I already enjoy Luz’s company, but getting to watch all of these other witty ladies interact and discuss their opinions on their world has also become one of my favorite things.  I think the walk home is probably almost an hour, but sometimes I like to do that instead of take a taxi.  Especially if it’s a drizzly night.  I’ve got an umbrella, and my host dad’s giant raincoat.  For me, Valdivia is not losing any of her charm. I love letting myself into my sleeping house, hanging up my wet clothes near the glowing fire and finally sliding under those delicious, heavy covers, trying to stay awake just long enough to remember my day.

And that last part is precisely what I’m going to do now.

In the Mapuche village just outside of Pucón.

Playing that hockey-like game again.  Kids whooped our booties again, too.

Oh, Nacho.  You haven't changed a bit.

Honorary Mapuche.

Bless your heart, you wet dog, you.

Pretty hike, sunlight through the fog.

It was fun to come back to this hike in the southern hemisphere's version of May. 

Dividing up the cazuela.

Typical weekend lunch. 

Thank goodness for cake for dinner and Chilean dads with a sweet tooth.